THE TREE OF LIFE - SIMPLE OR NOT?

Living my life as a disciple should, in theory, be simple.  When I gave my life to Messiah, I thought that it would be easy to live a life with no concern, no worry.  As I have said before, life can get in the way.

In the early days of my discipleship, I would sit in my room, and look out of the window at a beautiful Silver Birch tree.  The tree has been an inspiration to me.  When Elohim made the tree, he created an amazing item.  The simplicity and the complexity is what intrigues me, and what helps me to understand.  The simplicity is that it is tall with branches.  Children draw trees without difficulty.  Some are more detailed than others, but they are a basic shape.  However, the tree is also very complex.  The bark is patterned, the branches are detailed, and they are never symmetrical.  My life as a disciple has been the same.  At first, simple and uncomplicated, listening for the voice of the Spirit within me.  All I did was listen.  Then, suddenly, things became a little quieter, and the voice became quieter. 

Let me explain the best way I know how, and that is to equate an experience totally unconnected.  (Messiah used parables, so I guess it is comparable).  When I was learning to drive, in England, my driving instructor (or whomever was sitting in the passenger seat) would tell me, 'turn right', or 'turn left'.  The instructions were always given, and were quite clear.  'Don't forget to check your mirror'; 'Check for oncoming traffic'.  Finally, I passed my test.  My instructor drove me home and suggested I wait a while until driving.  He said most people were over-confident, and whilst he didn't think that of me (I was never over-confident in anything when I was a teenager), he still advised the same.  I didn't listen.  I called my mum, told her the good news, and said I was going to drive myself into work.  I jumped in my car, put on my seat belt, started the engine, and reversed out of the drive.  I drove to the end of the road and turned left, then to the end of the next road, and turned left again.  It was as I was travelling along the main road (highway), that I realised I had not used my turn signals.  Why?  Because no one had told me to 'turn left'. 

When I first became a disciple, the voice was loud.  I was told what to do.  I heard from Elohim, loud and clear.  After a while, I would be 'travelling along the road', just living life day by day, and would not necessarily hear anything.  It took me a long while to realise that I could actually go on with my life, 'turning left' without  necessarily being told, but to be aware that at any time, I may be told to 'turn right'. 

The command, for example, to 'turn right', can be the downfall of the disciple. We don't always listen.  Once we realise that we are allowed to make decisions, (which are not contrary to His Will) and that we can continue with our life, (as life goes on;  it has to go on, as we each have a part to play,) we are so busy 'doing our own thing', that we don't always hear (or listen to) the instruction.  We tend to carry on, and wait until we are told to stop.  However, sometimes we are so convinced that this is the 'right thing' for us, that we keep going and do not hear, 'Stop'.  (I do firmly believe we are placed where we are meant to be.  I also believe that everything has been written, but I also believe we are allowed 'free will', which seems to be contradicting, and my beliefs on this I shall leave for another post, as I find it rather complex, and thought provoking.)  This is where the tree was so helpful to me.  The first few weeks were simple.  I listened and I walked according to His voice.  It was so easy to see the tree as a tall plant, standing erect, with a few branches and leaves.  Once we are beyond the 'new born' stage, it becomes more complex.  The tree has branches which go off at angles, and twigs from which leaves hang, precariously.  We have to make turns that we would rather not, or that we are not expecting.

I started to 'turn a deaf ear', at certain things, once I was past the 'new born' stage.  'Surely he didn't tell me to do that?' was a favourite of mine. Of course, there were times when I knew it was 'me' telling me what to do, because it was what I wanted to do.  I started to worry about what people would think of me.  It became easy to think that I was in charge of the situation.  I concerned myself with the worries of the world.  But I know that we are born in sin, and whilst we are born again, we are still human (not an excuse, but a statement).  Each time I was reprimanded (and I am reprimanded by Elohim), I would wonder why I ever let my 'flesh' take over.  Sometimes it would take longer than others to 'repent', and I would (and still do) have periods of sulking.  'Why should I apologise, when someone else is rude to me?'  'Why should I give in, I want......?'  I trip up more often than I care to think.  However, as I grow, I learn.  I know that I have not been given a free gift which can be used to suit myself.  It is a gift that needs to be nurtured.  It is a gift that is precious.  I have been given the gift of life, eternal life.  I have to think along the lines that if I am disobedient, and suddenly this life comes to an end, I will have to meet my maker and explain why I did the last thing I did. As the scriptures say, it will not be all my good deeds for which I will be remembered, if the last one I commit is bad.  Of whom should I be afraid, man or Elohim?  Whom am I going to have to stand before on Judgement Day?

My tree continues to be my inspiration, as it was made by my Father.  Think about colours.  Brown and green are not primary colours, and yet they are the colours of the tree.  He 'simply' makes them.  Life as a disciple should be easy, and whilst we are walking in the Spirit and whilst we are obeying His voice, it is.  One thing I do know, and that is whilst I am walking in Him, I am full of joy.  It is when I am not walking in the Spirit, that the knots in the wood start to show.

Be blessed and I leave you with grace and peace. 

MIRACLES CAN HAPPEN

Once I was born again, the thing that I noticed most was the difference in my attitude.  Renewing the mind was not always easy for me, but I did notice that everything was wonderful.  Miracles were not the type of things that are seen in Hollywood movies, they were ordinary, every day things.  I soon got to thinking that the miracles were the things that 'were', rather than those that 'were not'.  If my car didn't start, I would not get upset; I would pray.  If things did not go to plan, rather than get irritated, I wondered what I had done that was against the will of Elohim.
I believe that Elohim is in charge of everything.  I believe that he can do anything. 

I realised that miracles were all around me.  I had a roof over my head; I had a job; I had two beautiful kids.  It was when life went along without hitches that were the miracles.  I was thankful for no surprises, thankful for no bumps in the road, so to speak.

Suddenly, I realised that I was protected.  My house had been on the market for some considerable time and we had not had so much as a bite.  If it had sold, I would have no where to live and my job did not pay enough to rent anywhere, let alone buy. However, I was moving to the USA, and about two months before I was due to leave, I sat at my computer and prayed.  I told Elohim that I was going to give it all up to Him.  I was going to leave it all in His hands.  I just let everything go.  I trusted that Elohim would look after me.  Within two days the house was viewed, and a contract put into place.  I was then offered an idylic cottage for the six weeks until I moved out to the US, rent free.  I see that as a miracle.

Of course, there are some that would disagree, but that depends on whether you have faith. 

There were several times when amazing things happened.  Two in particular are, to me, quite incredible. 

I was driving along with my son, in his car.  Suddenly, the car started to make a noise.  He was terrified that it was his exhaust.  I knew he could not afford a new exhaust and prayed that the noise be something that would not involve an expensive repair.  When we reached our destination, I looked under the car, and there was a small tree branch that had got connected to the underneath of the car.  We managed to remove it.   I thanked Elohim because I believed that he altered the problem.  Not everyone will agree.  My faith, however, allows me to do so.  Sometime later, I was driving home with my husband.  We were driving along main roads in the city.  Suddenly, the car made a terrible noise.  I prayed that Elohim would take care of the problem.  Once again, a branch had been caught under the car.  Once could be considered, perhaps, a possibility.  The second time was rather curious as we were not in the path of any trees!  I believe Elohim, once again, took care of the problem. Why do we have the problems in the first place?  That I cannot answer.  I believe we are punished for not listening, or doing His Will, but 'life' happens. 

These facts may not be considered amazing to some, but I believe they are miracles. 

I have many more stories, but as I have not posted for a while, I think it is best to stop here.  I intend to write about the angels I have met and following instructions from Elohim and the 'cause/effect' ratio. It is very exciting.

It's all in The Name

Before I continue with all my stories etc., I think it is now important to reveal why I do not use the words 'God', 'Lord', 'Jesus' and 'Christ'.  I cannot continue without at least explaining as, to me, this is crucial.

My life had changed.  I wasn't sure exactly how, but I knew there was something different.  I started studying the scriptures and listened to gospel music.  It was an exciting time. For the first couple of weeks of being 'new', nothing phased me.  I was filled with wonder, and just wanted to know more and more.  However, after a couple of weeks, I started to 'come down'.  It was almost like coming back from a vacation and having to get back to work, although there was still a feeling of elation residing within.  I realised that although something very real and very wonderful had happened, life went on. 

However, something appeared to be missing.  I couldn't understand why, if I had just accepted the most wonderful gift that there ever was, and became part of the most wonderful story ever told, was I having a problem actually praying.  I could not say the word 'Jesus'. 

It is possible at this point I may lose another few viewers, but that is not a problem to me. What is important is the truth that has been revealed to me, be revealed to those who wish to know.  I believe that there is nothing more important than doing my Father's will, and as 'cookey' as that may sound to some, anyone who has a passion for the Almighty, will understand that there is no alternative.  This is what I believe.

Considering I had spoken the name Jesus many times, it was quite amazing that I could not utter the name without feeling as if I was doing something wrong.  All was revealed when I received a message, one night, from my very good friend, who said he wanted to tell me something important, but he would have to wait until later, as he was busy.  I was intrigued but knew I would have to wait until he finished work.  However, within minutes my phone rang.  He could not wait, as he said it was so important.  A revelation.  He spoke and waited for me to interrupt and, either disagree, or make a dispelling comment.  I did not.  What he told me was about to change everything. 

The Creator is not God, or at least not known as God.  This is a title, and the title should be Elohim.  His name was something completely different.  He should not be called 'Lord' or 'God'.  His name is, as near as we can write in English, 'IAUE', or in pronounceable terms 'Yaheweh'.  (I am still uncertain that we have the correct pronunciation, or indeed the ability to say it properly, but this is just my perspective).  This was easy enough for me to grasp, as the Hebrews in the Old Testament, or the 'Original' Testament, would have used Elohim, or Adonoi, and He did speak to them. 

The next part of the revelation was really quite simple for me.  Jesus is not the name of Messiah.  After all, He was born to Hebrew parents, who spoke Hebrew.  The main problem with the name 'Jesus' is that there is no 'J' in the Hebrew alphabet.  His name was Yahushua.  (Again the pronunciation may differ, or not be correct, and I do use the word 'Messiah' so as not to offend).  To say that 'Jesus' is His 'English' name is really rather insulting.  This is the son of the Creator of all! 

I took this all on board and had no problems at all accepting what I was told, and immediately refrained from calling my Master and my Father the names I had known for most of my life.  I could not risk offence.  As soon as I stopped using the 'other' terms, however, I suddenly understood the 'fear' of Elohim.  Suddenly, things became clearer, and I did not believe that I was 'saved'; I knew that if I committed one unrighteous act, and was taken from this world, all my righteous acts would not be remembered. It would be the one bad thing that that would condemn me.  I could no longer just say, 'ooops sorry about that, wont happen again', but I had to repent, and mean it! 

Over the years, we have been scoffed at, and even shunned, for attempting to share this revelation, but it is of no consequence to us.  Those who have embraced what we have embraced, have come to understand that life is not about us.  We have died and given our life to our Master, Messiah.  The particular lessons I have learned I will share, and in doing so may reveal, in more depth, why I maintain it is so important that we revert to, what we refer to as, the 'Original' names.  

Now that the basics are covered, I feel I can continue with all the wonders I have experienced. 

My story - The beginning

Once again, I will start by saying, I am 'born again'.  It is at this point that I may lose some readers, but that is not my problem.  Those who share my passion will, I am sure, share the joy. 

I think it is relevant, at this point, to mention that I have two active blogs.  One is stories of my everyday life; a satirical look at events that have happened in my life.  This blog is different.  It is spiritual.  However, I do not separate my life the way I separate my blogs, but it does possibly show how life has to continue, because we have to live in this world; although living in a corrupt world should not require us to partake of the corruption.  It simply means that life goes on.  I do hope that this makes sense.

My story of how I was led to Messiah, is probably not much different to many others.  However, my background and prior years may be as far as from East is from West. I was brought up in a Jewish household.  I attended a secular school, and had a variety of friends.  However, I did think I was different, and started to ask questions.

So, what made me ask the questions?  When I was six or seven, I had made a comment to a classmate that my sister was having a birthday party.  I told her that there would be lots of cakes, sweets and other things that were not generally eaten, unless it was a special occasion.  I am quite sure I did not make a promise, but she was adamant that I did.  It would appear that I suggested I would bring some of the goodies to school.  We were in the school hall due to the inclement weather outside, and whilst the boys were running and sliding across the floor, the girls sought refuge beside the walls.
'You promised', she insisted, 'and it is very bad to break a promise!'  I was also quite resolute.  I did not actually make a promise, I may have made a loose suggestion.  'If you break a promise', she continued, 'Jesus wont love you'.  Well that was good enough for me.  At last, a saving grace.  'That's okay', I remember saying, 'I'm Jewish; I don't believe in Jesus'.  The abject horror that spread across her face was something that made me wonder from that moment forth; What is it all about?  'It is very naughty not to believe in Jesus'.  The words 'very naughty', were very strong, indeed! 
My mother explained to me that it was not so much that we did not actually believe He existed, it was that we didn't believe he was The Messiah.  Why?  Well, that question was easier.  As Jews, we were still waiting.

Throughout the following years, I listened intently to the bible stories told in assembly, and paid particular attention in my Religious Studies lessons.  Something inside me was aware that Messiah had walked on this earth and I wanted to know more.  However, I did not have access to the New Testament.  I could have found a copy in the library, but I was very concerned about upsetting my parents.  I was very affected by the films, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Godspell, but they were just movies, and none of my friends wanted to discuss the content in depth.  Life continued and I got older, left school, went to work, got married, had a couple of kids, and time was not my friend.  As my marriage started to crumble, I was introduced to Messiah. I will categorically state at this point that it was not a 'crutch'.  I didn't find Messiah because my marriage was crumbling; He found me.  Suddenly, I had more time. I started to read the Scriptures, and realised that the stories I had loved, were preceded, and succeeded, by others, which basically filled in the gaps.  I started to ask questions. I was fortunate enough to meet a man (whom I subsequently married) who had great scriptural knowledge.  However, he did not just 'tell' me, he made me study and 'listen'.   He explained to me how Messiah had 'died for me' and in turn, I wanted to be 'saved'.  I have always had a healthy fear of Elohim, the Almighty, and I was concerned that due to my Hebrew ethnicity, I would be offending my Father, my Elohim.  At the same time, I was concerned for my soul.  Eventually, I made the decision to leave my past life behind, and accept Messiah as my saviour.  I knew it would mean a life change, but I had no idea how.  What did it really mean?  I was also concerned that I would not feel any different and that I might not be 'chosen'.  It was, I am afraid to say, all very much about me!  I sat down and prayed.  I asked that Messiah be my saviour and I told Him that I gave my life to Him, and He would be my Master.  I asked him to forgive me for all my sins.  I was, even at this stage, unsure what I was doing, and what this would mean, but I also knew that if I did not do this, I would never know whether I was, indeed, 'chosen'.  Suddenly, a feeling came over me that I cannot fully describe.  It felt as if a dome was put over me, and then peeled away.  I felt 'new' and clean. 
The phrase, 'Born again', took on a new meaning.  I understood.  I was filled with a feeling of elation that I had never felt.  I was free.  It went beyond any feeling I had ever known.  I knew elation, I knew joy.  I knew love.  I experienced those feelings when I had my kids.  This was different.  This was so totally different. 

For about half an hour I was unable to speak.  All I could do was praise my Elohim and call to Messiah.  It was Friday and I had to go to work.  I wanted to shout to all the world that I was a new creature in Messiah.  I knew things would be different, yet I also knew I was still me.  I could go on, but I think it is time to stop, for now, because each step is so important. 

I would like to think that my story is of interest to others, and that I can bring others to know that joy, but I also know that the choice is not mine, it is Elohim's.  I know I need to spread 'The Word', but I am also aware that I need to listen and know what to say and when to say it.  I trust my heavenly Father will advise me as and when to write again.

Grace and peace be with you all, until next time.

Our Father - This is not the beginning.

Usually, when I begin writing, I employ the Maria Von Trapp philosophy of starting from the very beginning.  However, to start at the beginning at this point, I think, would deprive you of some wonderful things that have been happening.  Perhaps I am jumping in at the deep end, but those who have been called, I believe, will come back for the actual beginning.  This is just a little appetiser of the miracles that are performed by The Almighty, Creator of the Universe.  My Elohim.

The Texas Legislature sits for six months every two years, and for the past six years, we have seen miracles. Six years ago there were forces of evil that took over the Capitol.  To cut a long story short, a very bad piece of legislation made its way through the Senate and had passed through the House Committee.  It was stopped and never came back to the House Floor for a vote.  Three days before the end of the session, the whole bill was added to another bill, which was vitally important, and it was thought to be impossible to win the battle.  No one was willing to stop the passage of the bill as it was too crucial.  One representative said that her constituents would never forgive her if she voted against it, or in anyway did anything to 'kill the bill'.  However, we prayed.  We prayed and listened.  It was a tough time for me as, although I had been a believer for several years, I had not really had the ability to trust.  I came home on the Thursday afternoon, exhausted and stressed. I sat down and picked up a copy of the scriptures and read.  We read the Psalm of the day (if it is the 4th, we read psalm 4) and then every 30th Psalm.  (This way, we read all the psalms each month)  I came downstairs, attempting to be at one with my Father, and felt the need to fast.  I listened to the Spirit, made dinner for everyone else and did not eat that night, nor the next day.  I did not fast because I thought it would 'help', I fasted because I believed I was doing my Father's will. 

The next day, several reps got up and questioned the bill.  It would appear that over night, constituents would now never forgive their reps if they let the bill pass.  The offensive language was stripped and the other items amended.  It was, indeed, a miracle. 

This session we are dealing with the same problem.  I wont go into details as it is irrelevant, but what we are dealing with is both unlawful and unconstitutional, which is not righteous. However, unrighteousness has been rife throughout.  In order to gain support, there have been a lot of 'half truths' and even more blatant lies told.  I must make it quite clear at this point that it is not simply that I don't want certain laws to be made as it may have an adverse effect on the way I live, it is because of its unconstitutional content.   Amazingly enough, we have seen Our Father work in such mysterious ways. He has taken everything of consequence out of the picture. 

We still have a little way to go but we know that as long as we do His Will, and do it because we desire to do it, not because it's a chore, He will give us the desire of our heart.  The desire of our heart should be to do His Will.