AM I A JUDAS?

The 'revelations' have been flying.  Things have been revealed to me in such a way that I feel like they are fireworks being lit and explode deep inside me.  It is not so much a feeling of joy and wonderment, but more of a 'lightening up' of the truth, so that I can see.  

My husband and I were reading through the gospel of Mark.  As I sat and read about the betrayal of Messiah, by Judas, I stopped and pondered.  Had I thought about this before?  Although we strive to be like Messiah, are we really more like Judas?  Of course, we would all refute the idea that we could betray the one who died so that we could live, but what is 'betrayal'?

How many times have we sold out for thirty pieces?  I think of all the times that I have done something that I have later felt regret. For example, the young girl at the cash desk told me that she had been very sick, and required a blood transfusion.  She felt a lot better now, but she had been very ill.  I sympathised.  I failed to lay hands on her and demand she be healed.  Why?  There were several reasons.  Firstly, this has not been common practice with me. Secondly, there was a queue and I did not want to cause a disturbance.  Thirdly.....why am I going on.  The second excuse is outrageous.  Isn't that what we are supposed to do?  Cause a disturbance?  At least in the way that it will show everyone that I am healing in the name of Messiah; I am healing with the power that has been invested within me.  When I left, she was talking to someone at the cash desk, and I demanded, "Be well!"  Was that enough?  

The point is that I did not do what was required of me, and therefore, I sold out.  No matter the circumstances, I did not do what I had been commanded to do.  I am not talking about waiting to hear from the Spirit whether it is the right time, I am talking about what we have been called to do, at all times!  

Each time we do not do the Will of The Father, or fail to do what we have been called to do, we are basically selling out!  

This has been rather a powerful 'revelation'.  Elohim has not foresaken me, nor does he not love me.  Instead, he was probably disappointed.  All sin is sin.  To that, I still subscribe!  Am I being too hard on myself?  I do not think so, but then again, I do not think I can be hard enough on myself when I am not doing the Will of The Father.

Each time we 'go our own way', we are acting in the same way as Judas.  We want what we want, and we are going to get it.  Yes, he gives us the desires of our heart, but they should be in line with His Will.